Top ten things you DIDN'T know about Cat Murder.

Cats and viral! That's this!

Donate Right Meow Jeff Goldblum he loves the cats and you can tell him I said that because I shook his hand outside the Winter Garden Theater, Cats - Now and Forever WAIT A MINUTE! ITS GOT MAMA MIA IN THERE NOW! THATS NOT NOW OR FOREVER!!!
Our Main Fear

Is the plague of Velocicaptors

These are genetically engineered cats that have been hybridized with raptor DNA. They weren't supposed to be able to breed, but through some miracle, they did, and now it's a real problem.

 class CharityController < ApplicationController
     include Everybody
     def give
         @cache = 'usd'
         charity = Donation.find_or_create_by(currency: @cache)
         render json: {}
This Charity Is Tech-Enabled

Just like this show--except clearly Mark is having issues.

You Guys Are Like My Best Frigging Friends

And now, a bad opinion:

“We just think that it's a shame how people are turning on Harvey Weinstein so suddenly. He's given to charities... like this one!”

A Bunch of Harvey Weinstein Apologists, on Jeff Goldblum Spays Cats

OK, Here's Some Of Those Facts

You might be surprised to see 6 instead of 10, but we couldn't find 10 facts about cat murder

#1: Showers Kill Cats

Why else would they be so afraid to take showers?

#2: Heat Kills Cats

They used to burn cats slowly by lowering them over a fire slowly, as a public spectacle.

#3: Smart Cats Are Dangerous

If you let your cat learn, it will kill you. Cats can murder too.

#4: Blind Cats Are Easier To Kill

You just go up to 'em and get 'em with a knife. They can't see it.

#5: In Space, Nobody Can Hear Cats Die

It's the best place to get away with cat murder, if you are curious.

#6: Always Spay and Neuter Your Pets

I'm Bob Barker??? Bitch???

Wonder how much it costs

to spay cats?

Not This Much

Don't even bother, you cheap cuck

It's Still More

You won't get credit for this, you cheap cuck

That's the Amount!

Congratulations, you saved one cat, you cheap cuck

And now, a timely endorsement:

“My good friend, Jeff Goldblum really knows how to treat a pusssy with respect and dignity. I know, because I'm Harvey Weinstein.”

Harvey Weinstein, well-respected producer of cinema and philanthropist

This is the *absolutely* final show!

Glad you could make it out

I know we said this last time, but this time, we mean it. You've just seen the absolute last performance of the show.

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